this morning i treated myself to reading the various entries for the ‘butch symposium’ that were posted at lesbian neurotica.
i say treated because whenever i avail myself of the opportunity to expand my awareness it is like dark imported chocolate and merlot on a moonlit night.
expanded awareness into the realms in which one is a stranger isoften a tenuous one tho.
perhaps one can only truly understand butch from the inside.
folk, even my own lovers, have accused me (sorry about the word choice here) or perhaps flattered me by labeling me butch. an assignation that truly befuddled me.
were they responding to the outward appearance
pants (because having legs bare up to there just seems wrong so no dresses.)
and baggy ones at that (because it is easier to move)
shoes, probably ugly (if i knew what that means_to me they’re comfy)
hair often very, very short…(who wants the bother of combing and styling, keeping it out of the face.)
no affectation of what are allegedly feminine wiles. (who has time for them? even if i knew what they are…)
no fear of spiders, snakes etc.
no swaying hipped walking
hands often in pockets
no make-up obsession (my face looks fine thanks, but on occasion i do carnival type face-painting or during high rituals).
based solely upon such externals the term ‘butch’ has been applied to me.
but upon reading the entries from all the beautiful butches and those who know and love them, i come away with a much clearer idea of why the label, applied to me, isn’t quite right.
i am only queer.
a fifty five years young queer person raising her transgender adopted child.
i am one who dresses and behaves in ways that are most comfortable and natural to me.
one whose desires transcend gender where relationships are concerned.
this description falls far short of the title of ‘butch’.
reading the posts to the symposium has given me insights into the insides of butch people.
my world is richer for having read them.
and i have a new and improved knowledge of those in my world who are butch-identified.
anyone who reads me and is curious about this discussion, go to