it is amazing how the internet can link up people otherwise separated by space and time.
the other day, while looking for resources for my daughter, i stumbled across a site that
was a forum for neuro-diverse and gender-diverse young women.
of course, this was a perfect place to find, given that besides being a girl in a body that society says is male, my daughter also falls along the autism spectrum.
i weary of finding sites that seek to ‘cure’ my daughter. or even offer ‘treatments’ for
autism. i really dislike sites that come up when searching for transgender children that seek to convince the parents that there is something ‘wrong’ with their child.
so it was a delight to have found a forum wherein young women were speaking their minds on their unique being.
these awesome young people were happy to share with me their experiences of being
neuro-diverse and were very happy to learn that there are parents “my age” (i’m 55) who
were ‘cool’ enough and caring enough to seek advise and insights from those who know
first hand what it is like to be gender-variant.
all of them encouraged me in continued support of my daughter, by every means possible. their stories of courage in the face of little understanding and a lack of support from family and society touched me deeply! how strong these young women are! (most were in their teens)
many of them told me that they could totally relate to the early knowledge ziona had about her gender being other than what the world would acknowledge…3 or 4 years of age seemed not uncommon. some of them even shared ziona’s initial belief, that the
‘boy part’ (their words) would just fall off someday. children are so good at magickal thinking!
most of them seemed to think that being neuro-diverse as well perhaps made it easier for them to ignore social constraints placed upon their gender expression. it was something i had wondered about with regard to ziona because she seems far less concerned about society’s notions about her gender. and far more upset that her body has betrayed her.
this too, was not an uncommon feeling among many of the young women who shared with me.
i have a sweatshirt i bought to support an autism site online that says, in big letters across the front “don’t change them for the world, change the world for them”
i believe this with all my heart! i love my daughter and wouldn’t change her for the world.
but i will do all in my power to change the world for her!
the courage of these young people with whom i shared my hopes for my daughter, (and my fears for her as well) was most encouraging! they are changing the world for ziona too! by just being who they are. and they are helping others to change the world as well,
through their open-ness and sharing their unique perspective!