so the vacation zee and i took cross-country was a blast. we saw the sites of this spring weather’s tornado disasters. we were detoured around the still flood level high waters of the missouri river and we did some camping and spelunking in california and south dakota.
altho these various roadside attractions were alot of fun for us, and zeeona has added national park ranger to the ever growing list of things she might like to try for a career later in her life, the thing she has talked about most since our arrival is the fact that there are other kids like herself.
not that i hadn’t told her about these other children, not that i hadn’t sought out and found videos online about other transgender kids. of course i have done this frequently since she disclosed herself to me. but it’s different when you get to meet them face to face and actually play together.
she is so much more confident of herself now. and convinced even more of her female-ness. she has a very bright and intuitive sense of who she is. and she’s asking questions – important questions.
for example, she asked me about checking the female box on applications for school or driving license. then when i posited a future wherein there were no boxes to check, but rather a line next to the question “gender: how do you identify.” then, i said, someone can say exactly how it is with them.
her response? “i will only just say female.”
when i told her that she can either be ‘stealth’ or open about being trans, and that being open about it can lead to more people being comfortable or aware of transgender issues, she shrugged, as if to say “meh. whatever” she simply didn’t care either way.
how i love the guilessness of youth! to zeeona’s mind, she is merely female. something wrong happened with her body, and she is going to have it fixed. like wearing a brace for scoliosis, when one’s spine is crooked.
for her sake i hope for a change in the functional behaviour of the dominant paradigm so that she never has to be a victim of prejudice and small-mindedness. that she will never fall prey to a transphobic hate crime.
it is never easy being different in this culture of homogenized ‘sameness’. but the times are changing albeit ever so slowly. so who knows? maybe someday my informed apprehension and justifiable fears will be unnecessary; like a vestigial tail.
so here’s to the future, and to all those who go forth beyond the present into the fabric of tomorrow. may all the wrinkles of today be swiftly ironed out that their dreams may come to fruitition and who they are in terms of gender may be of no more importance than how they like their coffee.