Pasupatidasi's Blog

thoughts, poetry, life as it is…

back-handed blessings

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people are the blessings life bestows on us. for better or for worse.

my last post had much to say about the way in which people reject or judge others, set up barriers between their selves and all the ‘someone elses’ that populate their world, or their smaller corner of community. altho i stand by every word, what i neglected to mention is that much blessing comes from these type of folk.

before anyone thinks i’ve completely lost it, allow me to explain by way of a parable.

~ once there was a kind-hearted woman, who was moved to compassion by many things. upon seeing a chrysalis attached to a branch that had fallen to the ground, she decided to bring it inside her home.
when it came time for the new creature to emerge, the woman was fortunate to be present to witness the miracle. so she sat near the branch, which she had stood in a jar upon her table.
the butterfly struggled hard and long to escape it’s confining shell, and the woman thought that she might help it with this trial. ever so gently and carefully, she opened the slit that the creature had made in the chrysalis, just enough so that the butterfly didn’t have to squeeze through such a small opening.
it worked, and the beautiful thing easily came forth its confinement!
after the butterfly emerged, it hung from it’s former cell, drying it’s brightly colored wings. but it couldn’t spread them out, no matter how it tried, they draped its body in folds. ~

what this woman didn’t understand was that the opening through which the emerging butterfly must escape, is small for a reason. the pressure of squeezing through that slit is the way that fluids from its body are pumped into the wings, allowing them to unfurl. without this the wings will be useless. the butterfly wont fly.

not that we necessarily require pressure from social inequality in order to spread our wings, but in my own case, all the rejection and judgement to which i have been subjected by all the ‘someone elses’ in my world have only served to make me stronger in my resolve to be precisely who i am…and i fly!

so for better or for worse, even those who are not well-intentioned have helped me, they are blessings of a kind.

no matter how much i hope for a kinder tomorrow to receive the new creature my daughter will grow to be, somewhere inside me is a faith in her that outweighs the need for this hope. because it is quite obvious to me, that if struggle has made me stronger, it wont be able to crush her! she’s far more advanced a soul than i!

so while hoping things for her future, for her life – after transition, – after reaching the magickal age of eighteen, when she’s an adult and as her parent i’m allowed to breathe a relieved sigh, i remind myself that some of the things that will help her to emerge, spread her beautiful wings and fly might be trials i would never have chosen for her…but may well be one way in which life will bless her.

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