Pasupatidasi's Blog

thoughts, poetry, life as it is…

dedicated to those who’ve had to wait


i’ve been reading many blogs and books lately with a common theme. that being transgender kids having to suffer the pain of hiding who they are, of fearing what would become of relationships with friends and family did they discover the secret of the self they dare not share. of feeling that the situation is hopeless…

for many this may be the temporary situation. some parents are never gonna be ready to ‘hear’ certain truths, and that is tragic. because it isn’t about these parents. it’s about the kids.

it feels good to me that my own trans-daughter was secure enough in herself to insist upon telling me who she really is. i’m grateful to the universe for having prepared this lovely child a soft place in the world by allowing me to have an open mind.

this poem, (a kyrielle) is dedicated to those who must still struggle to show the world who they are.


she didn’t dare to speak the truth
nor had the courage yet to say
things kept a ‘secret’ since her youth
it wouldn’t matter anyway

for none she knew would care to hear
so hid herself from light of day
let folk believe her only ‘queer’
it wouldn’t matter anyway

at birth she’d been declared a boy
and as a youth thought only ‘fey’
tho she possessed a hidden joy
it wouldn’t matter anyway

her truth would bring despair she knew
so locked away from light of day
she tried to put off her ‘debut’
it wouldn’t matter anyway


6 thoughts on “dedicated to those who’ve had to wait

  1. If only every child born trans could have been blessed with such an understaning and insightful parent.

  2. Reblogged this on Munazahgulzar's Blog and commented:
    Small specks of dust
    And dazzling light of stars
    Both gone in the thin layer of sky
    Nothing in common but striking resemblance in vividness
    I look at myself and find we are just the same…..

  3. Having grown up in a family that would have found such things disturbing, and having been guilty of persecuting other preferences, I believed the truth to always be the most important matter the cost.
    I do only know of one trans-gender (that I am aware of) and he is exceedingly conflicted in his life. I know little of his upbringing, but I am sure it didn’t help any, and neither did his time in the military.
    It is hard at times to overcome such negative societal pressures, somehow I managed it. I think the thing that scares people most is that it causes some doubt in their own minds about their sexuality.

    • yes, people whose ‘ways’ disturb us most, most likely mirror us best.
      of the ‘grown’ trans people i know, many of the older trans-women were in the military.
      some admit that they thought that they needed to join up to ‘encourage’ the male aspect of themselves.
      others say that it was an attempt to hide from themselves or hide their true selves from others.
      my daughter knew she was a girl from about three years of age.
      it was intense when she learned that her ‘spare parts’ wouldn’t merely fall off someday and she be the girl she has always felt she was.
      as a queer woman, i was able to hear her…i thank whatsoever powers there be for this. because those who must wait, who aren’t supported, often have self-destructive behaviours or even become suicidal.
      thanks for reading and following me, by the way.
      i reciprocated, not because i always do, but i am enjoying reading you.
      had to tweet the poem link…it was lovely and in need of further sharing

      • Thanks for the tweet…not necessary, but appreciated…there will be more..have a powerhouse of an idea for some poetry..I might discreetly distribute some of them…think I can publish it for sure if I get my butt in gear. There will be other poems as well..I’ll dig through some old stuff for something you might like as well, though not as good imho.

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