Pasupatidasi's Blog

thoughts, poetry, life as it is…

because i believe…in me


so here we are! kickin’ 2013 in the rear and getting ready to move further on into the 21st century.
we’ve lived through another election cycle, a record year of warm temperatures and weird weather and the end of the world. so what have we done?

as for my little corner of the world, the homeschool year is half over with ziona having learned how to read and write cursive. how to multiply 3 digit numbers, divide same, how cells work and how the western hemisphere’s north american continent was invaded, conquered, and subsequently claimed by the europeans, part of it eventually being called the united states.

in addition to these homeschool accomplishments, ziona has been accepted and enrolled into ucsf’s child and adolescent gender clinic, and been officially diagnosed as transgender by a recognised expert in the field all of which should make it easier to have her treatment needs covered by medi-caid going forward. (hopefully)

the world has become a bit kinder to people who are gender variant, and tho no cause or cure is known for autism, people are more informed and perhaps a bit more understanding of the subject.

unfortunately our government still seems hell-bent on screwing the poor while kow-towing to the rich, but movements like “occupy” have given hope to those who know that change must come. economies the world over are in disarray while banks and wall street rake in the cash. in our country, even getting bailed out by the people who suffer most at the whim of their greed. austerity protests elsewhere may even be coming here to the u.s. soon.

our peace prize president continues to wage undeclared wars inherited from the previous administration and has managed to embroil the military in new ones. his ‘kill list’ is kept from the public by claims of national security and no matter the children his drone assassinations have killed, he still felt it believable and not hypocrisy to weep crocodile tears at the tragedy in sandy hook.

laws have been passed that curtail our freedoms in flagrant disregard for the constitution even to the extent of allowing for the indefinite detaining of american citizens without trial or legal recourse. spying on private emails and such is now totally acceptable and warrantless wiretapping as well as other forms of monitoring are the real world equivalent of pre-crime divisions that used to only exist in science fiction movies.

so, given all this one might wonder why i can say that i feel genuinely positive about the world going forward into the time of the mayan’s 5th sun, a new bak’tun.

it is just this. optimism in human nature.

i have seen my family go from ostracising ziona and myself just because she is transgender and i support her to accepting her and affirming her ‘girlness’. i have watched as this beautiful child’s mind of her own begins to form from the spirit that dwells within her. i have seen random acts of kindness perpetrated on a daily basis which are not deemed news-worthy by the sensationalist media. there have been revolutions, for better or worse, world-wide wherein the people are throwing off the oppression, the shackles of their corrupt governments, giving me hope that even the sedate and brainwashed citizenry of my own land may yet follow that lead. that we might out of love of our country rise up and lay claim to the promise it pretends.

so yes, despite the mistakes and evils of the past, or even of just the past year, i embrace all that the future, or even just the coming year, might present. because hope is even worse than blind faith, since it is optimistic without slightest benefit of a belief system or god.

i’ve always said, “the meaning of life is to give your life meaning”. and as for me, the meaning i choose to export to my life, is one wherein i do whatsoever i can, whatever the situation or circumstance, to matter for the better.

i’m optimistic then, because i believe in me…


2 thoughts on “because i believe…in me

  1. Two things…you are evidently doing a great job educating Ziona, in skills with her math, in knowledge with her history and wisdom in giving you the best of gifts..

    also, it is easy to lose heart sometimes with all the goings on in the world, yet, your optimism is completely warranted..if one can make a difference, then one becomes two..until even the greatest of changes occurs..and that change must always start within, nit without. change effected without is coercive and ineffectual..change effected within is contagious!

    hugs to the both of you .. with the pride that comes with fraternity..

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