Pasupatidasi's Blog

thoughts, poetry, life as it is…


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cylon ‘skin-jobs’ and rights of personhood

a while back a sci-fi series called ‘caprica’ aired. i followed it religiously well before i had seen even one ‘battlestar galactica’. being a big science fiction fan it is strange that i’d never bothered to watch ‘bsg’ but perhaps the word ‘battle’ in the title was enough to put me off.

‘caprica’ came, then went the way of many shows i’ve liked. it was discontinued. since the action in caprica occurs well before the ‘galactica’, about 60 years, no mention is made to ‘battlestar galactica’. then an acquaintance from a book club i belonged mentioned ‘battlestar galactica” after i used and explicative i’d learned from ‘caprica…(it was ‘fracking’ and has nothing to do with natural gas)

so i’ve been watching “battlestar galactica”.

for those who haven’t ever seen the series, cylons are robots with artificial intelligence. they became ‘self-aware’ and eventually were able to synthesize human bodies to house their consciousness, but flesh and blood bodies are easily injured and damaged to the point of non-functioning state. for this reason, they have ‘resurrection’ bodies just like the one that ‘died’ into which to upload their consciousness. there are 12 different cylon ‘human-like’ models. ‘skin-job’ is a derogatory slur used by humans when referring to these beings. altho even worse ones are often used.

for the most part, human beings and cylon humans are at war. but the loathing that humans feel for them seems to go deeper than just their dark, mutual history, a history from which it could be argued that cylons, subsequent to their creation having been enslaved and oppressed by humans have the more justifiable position.

when humans finally learn that some cylons have human bodies, can reason and communicate, feel pain and emotions, have memories, a sense of right and wrong, this does nothing to change the prejudice. instead they loathe them all the more vehemently, and fear them. but because the cylon models are indistinguishable from humans, some people fall in love with them without realising that they’ve been intimate with a ‘skin job’. and at least one such relationship resulted in the cylon model becoming pregnant and giving birth to a baby.

humans do not allow personhood to cylon “skin-jobs”. they are considered machines, despite the fact that they are flesh and blood, have memories, emotions.

being a poet, primarily, and thus wont to see analogies and metaphor, i began to see a commonality shared by trans-women and human-form cylons. that being, no matter how hard either may try, they will not be granted personhood. a cylon, despite fighting side by side for the humans with whom they live, are still viewed as ‘less than’, or ‘other than’ human. the trans-women, despite being relegated to a place lower than cis-women in society, despite going to much trouble to be women, despite having the same emotions, pain, as their sisters are denied womanhood.

so i say to my cis-sisters: “we are not now, nor have we ever been at war with, or attacked by transgender women. they share the plight women share and suffer things we will (thankfully) never know! how can we deny them personhood?, womenhood?!”

my daughter is not a cylon. she will not be resurrected into another body. but she is also NOT a male! she is a beautiful transgender and affirmed female. one who has, since she was 3 years old, been a real girl, despite the body she into which she was “uploaded”. one who has already suffered discrimination for being a girl, when she could have told the bully “i am not just a ‘stupid girl’!”. she will earn the same amount less than a man that any other woman will. she will be even more likely to be raped or abused than any other woman. so how dare you? my sisters. how dare you deny her the womanhood into which you were entitled by mere accident of birth?!


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reblog: roseanne barr controversy, with link to j. skyler article

http://blogs.montrealgazette.com/2012/11/02/roseanne-barr-controversy-excellent-article-by-j-skyler/#reblog

http://www.comicbookbin.com/I_Am_Not_My_Penis_A_Response_to_the_Roseanne_Barr_Controversy001.html


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Beating the cis-tem: A look at privilege based on gender identification – Iowa State Daily: News

a very necessary article for those of us with trans-folk as friends or family members.
helping cis-folk to realise their own priveleged status in relation to the oppressor/oppressed position of cis over trans persons can open minds.
in turn, open minds can unlock the consideration and compassion so often withheld from people who differ from the dominant society’s hierarchical paradigm.

Beating the cis-tem: A look at privilege based on gender identification – Iowa State Daily: News.


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this disgusting culture

the last couple of posts i’ve made, reblogs from other excellent bloggers, have brought up a host of thoughts about this allegedly civilised society in which we at the dawn of the 21st century find ourselves.

racism rampant despite civil rights gains, hate-crimes perpetrated against those who are judged as ‘other than’, whether it be for their faith, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity or even just their gender, inequalities justified by those who imagine their morality to be superior. bullying of our children. and these are only the real world day to day degradations.

add to these the representations of violence in movies, video games, on t.v., the constant beating of the drums of war by political figures and media pundits, the actual drone assassinations our peace prize winning president carries out to check off names on his ‘kill list’ and yet somehow we are shocked when someone dons a batman joker’s costume and shoots up a movie theater, or mistakes sikhs for the understandably loathed (for no reason) muslims and opens fire in a temple.

these things shock us, but what of the things that really ought to shock and disgust us, things like those mentioned in ‘the male gaze’ or in “disgusting” ?

in general, the media doesn’t notice when a trans-woman is assaulted, unless she fights back perhaps, in which case she is likely charged with committing a crime. there is no wide-spread shock at the number of women raped, wives beaten, or gays attacked every day. the reaction of the dominant culture and its participants ranges from ‘oh really? to ‘well, that’s to be expected’

i commented on the “disgusting” blog that i felt that for me to pen such a post would be very healing. if i used this literary device to ‘speak to’ the man who upon realising i’d spurned his advances, (not just because i prefer women by the way, he was one of those disgusting ‘male gaze’ types) decided that i was in need of a good ‘raping’. or to address the many men who only thought such things. or to chastise the father, my dad, who made it clear that i was a disappointment.

i would love to post something that my fellow ‘women-loving-women’ would read and feel shamed for rejecting our trans-sisters as less than women. especially those who would ban them from ‘all womyn’ gatherings (you know who you are). i would love to post something to society in general for requiring impossible standards be put upon women. the acceptable height and weight imposed upon us to be considered worthy, the ritual of shaving our womanly body hair so as to appear pre-pubescent and thus desirable in our male dominated world. the painted faces we are told we must have to be ‘easy, breezy, beautiful’, while men can be ugly, fat and old without derision.

i would like to let our ‘looksist’, ‘size-ist’, sexist, age-ist’, cis-ist society know that femininity is not a commodity. that gender is not genitalia, that love is not the exclusive domain of straight folk, that there is no such thing as ‘passing’.

i would love to be able to afford to buy time on broadcast t.v. networks, as do the people running for office, or those trying to sell their latest snake oil, so that i could declare to this ‘lagging-behind’ society, to the captive couch potatoes who have only this medium for diversion from their slave-wage daily grind, that there is another way forward. that those holding the power are oppressing them too. that only by respecting one another as human beings sharing a fragile planet, and treating everyone with kindness, consideration, and compassion, by joining ourselves as one instead of being suspicious of each other, judgemental and divisive, can we overthrow the faceless monsters of greed and oppression that have taken our world and infused it with this disgusting culture.

but most of all, i would love to make a difference, somehow. to waken those that need nudged. so that the world my beautiful transgender daughter grows into someday will embrace her…just as she is!


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discriminating tastes

today i signed an online petition, the simple purpose of which was to state that transgender lesbian’s attempts to be appealing to cis-gender lesbians is not rape.

seems like this should go without saying, since rape is forcing someone into acts of sex and merely trying to have one’s identity accepted by others in the hope of not being rejected as a lover on the sole basis of one’s self-definition is non-violent.

as a cis-gender bi-sexual woman and part of the lgbt community for about 40 years i am well aware of the discrimination that is perpetrated against the b and t persons allegedly included in that acronym. i have been rejected as a lover simply because i am able to love a man sexually. never mind that my primary sexual attraction is for women, the fact that if i love a man it could include sex makes me persona non-grata with many women within the gay community. never mind that i have only truly loved a few men and have had sex with many women, some of whom i didn’t even love, out of sheer preference and attraction to the female form. never mind that i have never made a practice of having a man and a woman as lovers at the same time much less in the same bed.

i have been less than included by some lesbians, outright rejected by others, as tho i have cooties. i have been accused of ‘riding the fence’, of not being ‘committed’ to women, of being weak for not choosing ‘one side or the other’.

i have fought for the inclusion of our transgender sisters in ‘all woman’ events, such as the ‘michigan womyn’s festival’ which is notorious for excluding any but ‘womyn-born womyn’. i have heatedly debated these more ‘discriminating’ women about what it really means to be a woman.

is it really all about the external form? what’s between the thighs? isn’t that what the patriarchal culture’s paradigm has used to define us? can we not see beyond this?

is it really about the approximately 50/50 chance of landing an XX chromosomal arrangement? an arrangement which only defines the external form and ability to reproduce, by the way. again, isn’t this simply buying into the male-dominated culture’s definitions?

by the time my daughter is out on her own at 20 or 21 years of age, she will have been living as a woman for a longer period of time than most lesbians her age will have known that they are lesbians. she will have been living as a girl for 15 years by then, and will have had the surgery to align her external form to the female she’s always been by age 16. will one of these future lesbians reject her simply for the accident of birth that betrayed her female self by landing her in a male body?

true, it is everyone’s right to choose whom they will for a lover. but what if we replaced ‘transgender’ with ‘black’. would it then seem appropriate to reject person? because of their color? the race into which they were born?

as far as i can see there is not much difference between that kind of racist discrimination and the discrimination with regard to transgender folk, that so many within the gay community find acceptable.

once many years ago, while playing pool in a lesbian bar, i was approached by a woman who looked more like a man. she had bound her breasts tightly to her chest, wore her short hair slicked back into a 50’s style DA, had a leather wallet shoved into the back pocket of her levis and connected to a belt loop by a silver chain. she stode confidently up to the table and plopped down a quarter, signalling that she would take on the winner. as she did so she gave me a lewd ‘undressing’ as bad as any i have received from the eyes of men. when i won (i usually lose, i suck at pool) she came back to the table with a look on her face that made me feel uncomfortable…as tho she’d just won me as a prize. i turned to my former opponent in the game and said, “you can play my win” and walked away.

later when the woman had finished playing my friend, she came to my table and seemed angry when i again refused her advances. she bellowed “if you don’t like women, what are you doing in a women’s bar!” or something like that. to which i replied “i do like women,” then looking her over added “i just don’t see one here” indicating her.

it was catty. it was horrible! i admit it. she was being herself. she was just so ‘manly’ that it turned me off. but i had rejected her based on her presentation more than on her looks, and should have said so instead of calling into question her gender.

on the other hand, i have dated trans-women…go figure!

what we as queers need in our corner of the world is to accept one another, tho not necessarily all behaviours. we must not allow the discriminating tastes we possess to oppress others. because no matter what our experience has been, we can at least agree that for the lgbt community, discrimination and oppression have been a painful common denominator and should have no place among our members


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expendables

earlier today in this blog, i reblogged a story from germany about a trans-girl who faces institutionalisation for merely being who she is. it is a tragedy, no doubt. society, especially here in the U.S. has never upheld the ‘liberty and justice for all,’ part of the pledge we were forced to stand and recite in schools every day.

the statistics are frightening with regard to trans and queer folk. the discrimination, the assaults on not just our human (and allegedly equal) rights, but on our very flesh. the numbers are truly daunting. yet the paucity of reporting on such statistics is indicative of the esteem afforded such groups by the dominant cultural paradigm. our issues are not their issues. we, along with our rights, are expendable.

my daughter, with really almost ‘zero’ life experience yet, intuitively understands that by entering the role allotted to females, and a trans-female at that, she will be relegated to the portion of society that is less empowered and often preyed upon. a sad state of affairs. she already understands much that i haven’t yet bothered to teach her. despite my ‘holding back’ until she is a little older to reveal the dark place our world can often be, she understands that she will have to fight her way through life as a girl. she knows and she is ready, or so she thinks.

but why should she have to fight?why should anyone? why does society have no place for transgender/transsexual folk? or queers? or black people in general. why are the assaults against these groups seemingly ‘understandable’.

trayvon martin was a member of an expendable group: black in a white societal power structure. transgender/transsexual people are members of an expendable group too: gender variant in a cis-sexual binary-coded paradigm. and really, even simply queer folk are also relegated to a second class citizenry; their rights only attained through struggle.

when society can ‘decide’ whether queer folk can marry, or thinks it right that women can be paid less than men for the same job done, when police can decide whether gunning down an unarmed black man constitutes murder, it is a tragedy. it is also a symptom of a disease, a cancer.

people should never be treated like ‘expendables’.

my daughter is fierce! i trust in her strength, in her ability to confront the world and have it be on her terms. that being said, it is no secret to her that the only lower place on society’s totem pole would be if she had also been born black. she knows this, altho i haven’t painted the scene for her. she told me one day. (tho not using the totem pole reference). she simply said, “if i were black too, i’d be the lowest in the world, except for animals”

that an only almost 9 year old, who doesn’t watch t.v. (only movies) or go to public schools, knows the ‘place value’ within society of transgender and black folk is profound. she has correctly diagnosed the disease without having yet experienced the symptoms. and she knows this isn’t the way it should be.

so if a child knows that ‘place value’ is wrong, that every single person on the planet should be afforded equal respect and esteem, why doesn’t the society at large recognise these things?


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some ‘passing’ thoughts

lately i have been rereading “whipping girl” and finishing up “luna”. two very awesome books that deal with the subject of trans-women altho coming from two very different places. both of these recent reads have gotten me thinking about this thing called “passing”.

it isn’t something i’ll ever have to worry about. the fact that i was born in the body that matches my gender identity means that i’ll never have prove i’m a woman. to anyone. ever. certainly i pass.

but what is passing? why is it so important? what paradigms frame its importance? is it all external appearance? is this notion of passing a by-product of our binary gender system? can one be a woman without the surgeries, without the hormones? does the plumbing have to match the wiring?

i wonder….

of course, society will recognise me as a woman, no matter what i do. i can wear men’s clothing, buzz-cut my hair, go without make-up, date women, participate in employment areas and hobbies that are usually thought of as “man stuff” and the world may call me a dyke (which i like) but it will still see me as a woman.

but what really makes me a woman, is the same thing that makes my daughter a woman. it is something between the ears, not between the thighs. so, since this is true, why is it so important to ‘pass’? why the need to change the outsides?

i tried to tell my daughter that there are transgender women that don’t feel they have to have their “spare parts” (her word for them) taken away in order to be the girls they are. i told her about the places in native american, hindu and japanese society where ‘two-spirit’ beings are accepted as belonging to the gender with which they identify…no assembly required.

but she wont have any of it!

for her the body must match the brain. and starting early on cross-hormones, before any testosterone has had the chance to make irreversible changes resulting in male physical features, she will likely ‘pass’ more easily than my friends who were adults by the time they decided to transition.

‘passing for a woman’ seems reliant on meeting strict gender expectations imposed by the dominant culture. women are supposed to have delicate features, small hands and feet, soft voices…all of the things that would help one to pass as a woman seem to me to derive from preconceptions about what is feminine. and much of what is deemed feminine has roots in an oppressive and misogynist ideology that has relegated women to the lower castes of society.

this whole ‘passing’ issue also tends to validate the dominant cultures prejudice against those who are “other than”, in much the same way that a fair-skinned person of color passing for white, or a gay man passing for straight does. in other words, it reinforces the narrative that the majority group is better than the minority group, and therefore it is desirable to ‘pass’.

of course, should a trans-person be able to ‘pass’ for their identified gender they are less likely to suffer discriminaton, making it easier to find employment, or even housing, or just to be accepted as their identified gender, and thus taken seriously, and ironically are those who can pass are accused of being deceptive. very often in our society if transgender or transsexual women ‘pass’ cissexuals feel betrayed or threatened by them.

the rigorous measures to which a trans-woman is subjected in order to be considered ‘passing’ are not applied to me, a cis-sexual woman. for example, my rather large thyroid area of the neck, (and it is large) is never scrutinised, my large hands, (and they are large) are not held against me. the fact that i haven’t got big hips, or an hourglass shape or big breasts will never raise eyebrows or cast doubt as to my gender. but for my transsexual friends these features are viewed by the world as drawbacks to ‘passing’, as if the only way for a transsexual woman to be accepted into the exclusive sisterhood is to be judged by the same cis-privileged society that has insisted on the binary gender code in the first place.

it isn’t fair.

once, a friend of mine who is transsexual was talking on skype with me, when her roommate passed by the screen and upon seeing me mistook me for a trans-woman. my friend ‘shushed’ her, as tho it were some sort of insult. i told her, no…quite the contrary, i considered it a compliment. but the fact that my friend thought i should be insulted shows that she still struggles within herself to be free of the negativity our society has ingrained in us about not being ‘true’ to the established gender rules.

so what is passing? should it be important?

as a member of the cis-privileged group it is far beyond my right to say, and beyond my experience to know. but i can say this much; for me, it matters not in the slightest, this thing called ‘passing’. because it’s whats inside that makes the woman.

i only wish society saw it the same way…for my daughter’s sake.


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to do the right thing

it is great being a parent!

while this statement is true at many levels, it shouldn’t be taken to imply that parenthood is without its trials.

my daughter zeeona has brought me no end of expanded awareness on a variety of subjects. as well as moments of absolute frustration.

but i wouldn’t trade a single moment of our time together for all the rice in china.

all in all, raising a transgender daughter doesn’t begin to compare with dealing with the side effects of her autism.

considering the surgeries and hormone treatments in her future concerns me far less than the juvenile polyposis syndrome she has, which necessitates yearly surgeries to remove countless pre=cancerous lesions from the whole of lower intestinal tract.

thinking of her health and well-being in lieu of the brain scarring she suffered at birth, the abnormality of a transfer of genetic material between the third and fourth chromosomes, and the anomalous spiking of electrical activity in her pre-frontal cortex worries me far more than the fact of her gender variant identification.

tell someone your child has autism and they sympathize with you.

inform them of the juvenile polyposis syndrome, and what it is or might mean and people are moved to compassion.

share with someone the fact of the intermittent seizure activity, the slight cerebral palsy that affects pronunciation of some words and has caused weakness and lack of tone in some of her muscles, and people consider our lot unfair and think us brave.

but if you let them know that your child is transgender all bets are off.

seeking to do the right thing for our transgender children is often called, ‘enabling’ them to be ‘mentally ill’. pursuing a course that can actually heal the child’s rift with the physical reality when it includes helping the body to align with the psyche is judged harshly by people.

there are no end of resources and medical practitioners to help zeeona and i maneouver the course of her various other ‘conditions’, and no one is concerned when i pursue the most appropriate treatment for them…they would be concerned did i not!

but when i pursue the appropriate treatment for helping my transgender child achieve wholeness, along with the prejudices of the sociey at large, there are precious few facilities and professionals geared to assisting us, unless we go to boston, seattle, san francisco…

well, you get the idea.

the statistics are daunting as regards transgender folk. if they do not receive the appropriate treatment to knit their outer selves to their inner selves death by suicide, drug addiction and other self destruct behaviours are high.

this is not a phase. it is not a mental illness. it is not a disease pathology. it is a person’s inner self and gender expression betrayed by the physical reality. or maybe for some it is really just a betrayal of their reality by a cis-ist dominant society’s insistence upon a binary gender system.

for every transgender person the way forward is perhaps as varied as are people themselves.

some will be fine with merely knowing they are inside the opposite of what their external bodies appear. some will want to alter their appearance and live as their identified gender to some degree, whether taking it all the way to gender reassignment surgery, or just hormones. some may be satisfied with merely using cosmetics and dress code that society has approved for that gender.

but without a doubt, the most important therapeutical assistance for any transgender person is acceptance of their reality. – by society, family, and friends.

so why doesn’t this happen? why does zeeona get all kinds of understanding for her various other conditions and judgement and loathing for this? why am i lauded as a patient and perserving parent for seeing to her health and well being in every area, except this one?

being a parent is sublime. and it is an honor. it is also a call to advocate on behalf of someone other than one’s self. regardless of previously held beliefs.

and so it goes…

to do the right thing isn’t always the easy path. come to think of it, usually the reverse is true.


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don’t ask – don’t tell?

my child is a beautiful eight year old girl;
full of wonder, light and tomorrows.
she doesn’t have to be much bothered right now
with things like cis-ist attitudes and
judgmental opinions about who she is.
but as she becomes a bit older,
no doubt she will one day come up
against the brick wall that is
‘the dominant paradigm’.

today we went to the bank to deposit a check.
we hadn’t seen the teller who assisted me
for well over a year. she may have been
at another branch … who knows.
zeeona was playing at ‘hide from the cameras’,
a game she plays to avoid the many not-so-hidden
cameras scanning the place for potential robbers
and thieves.

as i was filling out the deposit slip,
out of the corner of my eye, i watched as
the teller’s face registered first recognition,
then disgust. she had caught sight of zeeona
and remembered that ‘she’ used to be ‘he’.
i braced myself for the inevitable.

“how old is your son getting to be now?” came the question.

zeeona was blissfully oblivious to this insult
and was still busy ducking and dodging the cameras.
as for me, i contemplated turning to the teller
and answering her.

then decided to feign oblivion, as tho
i hadn’t heard her.

if she asked again, i would tell her,
“my daughter” is eight now, isn’t she beautiful?”
then if she pursued the matter further
i would tell her that zeeona happens to be
a very special girl.

but the teller didn’t ask again.

i finished filling out the slip and
just before handing it to the teller
i called out to zeeona

“okay, girlfriend (a term we use for one another)
done here soon”

again, out of the corner of my eye
the face across the counter registered disgust,
and even a slight and no doubt unconscious
shaking of the head as she accepted the slip
and began to print out a receipt.

she didn’t ask, so i wouldn’t have to tell.

but a part of me wished she’d’ve had the guts
to inquire further.
a part of me wanted to gently awaken understanding in her,
not only for my daughter
but for others who are in some way different
from her self.

what kind of world will it be for zeeona if who she is
must be kept hidden: a secret.
what kind of world is it that wont even allow
discussion of the obvious!
(because obviously, the teller knew!)

being cis and bi it has always been easy for me to ‘pass’
within the confines of the dominant paradigm
if i so chose.

but the rebel in me always wanted folk to know
how i differed from their reality. will zeeona feel the same?

since she already lives as a girl.
and will transition into puberty as a girl,
then shortly after she is 16 undergo surgery to
put everything just so,
will she feel the need to be recognised as
someone who started out life in a male body?

or will she feel more comfortable just being seen as
the girl she’s always been?

i don’t know.
what i do know is that this special faerie child
has opened my perceptions to myriad ponders
even before and ever since she surprised me with
who she is.


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her selfhood is beyond your judgements!

alot of things have got me to thinking of late.
about misogyny, sexist and cis-ist attitudes and
the liberation movements that have engendered the
acceptance of various groups in the last few decades.

reading a blog by a transgender woman a while back
enlightened me to the fact that while the goals of
the lesbian, gay and bi-sexual communities have much
in common with those of the transgender community,
it is sometimes felt by members of both communities
that the other gets in the way of their purpose; of
being accepted or acceptable.

i was well aware from my time in the gay community that
some folk felt that the transgender community when
included under their own umbrella, served to make the
acceptance of gays as ‘just like you’ to the straight
people an impossible venture if there were inclusion of
the oh so NOT ‘just like you’ transgender folk.

the blog i read had the opposite point of view.
that transgender issues are not served by being lumped in
with the gay communities agenda.

the writer acknowledged that the gay liberation movements
indeed paved the way and was of inestimable value to the
beginnings of a path to equality for transgender people,
but took a ‘what have you done for me lately’ tone,
and as the blogger pointed out,unless the transgender
person is also gay, the two groups don’t really merge.

at issue was the fact that cis-ist attitudes are rampant
in the gay community as in the straight world. gay men often
don’t get why a man would want to be a woman, after all,
he can still be with men as a man. this point of view might
reflect more on misogyny than the sense of loss of possible
sex partners to the gender to which they have no desires.
but for whatever reason it is there.

in the lesbian community, trans-women are often excluded
from all women’s events unless they have had the ‘bottom
surgery’. and often even in the event that they’ve gone
“all the way” some lesbians say they ‘could never’ really
go there, as far as a relationship with a trans-woman.

trans-women have not only the cis attitudes to deal with,
but are often under intense scrutiny to be ‘feminine’,
whatever that means. and they are put to far higher
standards with regard to ‘beauty’ (whatever than means)
than are cis women.

this misogyny exists, furthermore and inexplicably,in both
the minds and attitudes of straight women and lesbians
toward these women, who are in fact ‘sisters’ to them
in every way, save one!

now, to accept a trans-woman who has had the ‘surgery’ but
not the one who for whatever reason, has NOT is hard to
fathom. is it only our bodies that make us women? does the
presence of a body-part incongruent with societal dictates
for female invalidate? what if a woman hasn’t the money to
get required procedures? what if she simply knows who she is
without getting them? why would ANY woman, straight or gay
discriminate against another woman?!

i am raising a trans-girl. she is only eight right now, but
has known, (and informed me and everyone else) that she is
a girl ever since she was a little more than three years old. as a pre-pubescent person, the differences that make male and female bodies discernable have not yet come into play. so for now, no one is the wiser.

she loves to wear dresses, and climb trees. she plays with
dolls (tho she’s outgrown them lately) and trains. (altho
these days it’s more video games) she will be raised as the
girl she knows herself to be. before puberty she will take
cross hormones and testosterone blockers so that she can
begin to grow into her life as a young woman, right along
side other girls in her peer group.

so who will dare to tell her that she is not a woman?

already she knows that she is attracted to girls, wants to
marry one someday and adopt children together. (she is
adopted after all, and knows that adopted kids are never
an accident) she worries only that she’ll fall in love
with a woman who isn’t gay. altho i’ve told her that i have
had women decide to be lovers with me who ‘weren’t gay’.

i worry more that the woman she decides to be with will
reject her because she is transgender.

what a world!