Pasupatidasi's Blog

thoughts, poetry, life as it is…


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please read these powerful words…and be moved

scrolling through my facebook timeline, i came across this article; appropriately titled: “someone tell me that i’ll live”

a beautiful bit of starkly honest writing that sent shivers down my spine, gave me goosebumps and brought me to the brink of tears.

we who are raising our transgender children have a host of ‘right now’ issues with which we must contend.  getting blood labs to ensure that we get the puberty blockers on time, before the hormones which would further betray our child take hold in their bodies….starting the cross hormones at the perfect time so that they can experience puberty as the person they truly are….advocating for them with schools and at other social gatherings…educating where we can so that others will begin to experience the requisite compassion.

but none of this ensures their safety.  when our children become young adults and venture out into the great, big scary world, it is out of our hands.

certainly, at some point before she is older, i will have to help my daughter to understand the dangers.  perhaps get her some judo classes…as she is autistic, she often misses nuances in behaviours of others that might warn her ahead of time when someone isn’t receiving her well.

this article was amazing in its ability to bring to mind the realities of our far less than perfect society, and the consequences to our transgender daughters, mothers, sisters and friends.


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into the deep end

it’s been a while since i’ve written in my blog…mostly because everything is going relatively smoothly in our lives..ziona and i have been doing our homeschool lessons and other things we like to do. we added japanese to our curriculum this year and more drawing, per her request.  she has tested out of 6th grade and we are all ready for the upcoming 7th grade lesson plan, having bought the necessary materials and researched what sorts of extra-curricular options we’ll consider.

we haven’t yet taken our trip out to california for her appointment at the child and adolescent gender clinic at ucsf with her ‘transition team’.  the vantas puberty blocker that she had implanted into her arm last year is still suppressing male puberty, but it is going to have to be replaced, probably later in the year.  but it may not be quite time to have it replaced by september when our next scheduled visit with her team is supposed to take place.

so i have gone online, to every resource of which i have knowledge to try to find a closer option for a pediatric endocrinologist that will consider being a more local part of ‘the team’.  already ziona’s primary care provider is part of the away team…ordering the tests that the ucsf pediatric endocrinologist orders.  but because of  it being a specialised branch of medicine, the pediatrician doesn’t feel comfortable with seeing to certain aspects of ziona’s needs.  including prescribing hormones or implanting the puberty blocker.

if i can find a local pediatric endocrinologist i can wrangle ziona’s medicaid into helping to pay for this as well…which would be a big help, as i am on a very fixed, very low income.  i haven’t found an endocrinology practice that mentions being okay with transgender treatments for minors anywhere in the whole state of florida! none!

so this is me, getting ready to dive into the deep end of the pool.  i am going to try to convince a local pediatric endocrinologist to become a part of the san francisco team…long distance…in the same way that the primary care physician does.  by being in touch with the very highly esteemed ucsf program to provide the hormones and/or puberty blockers that are necessary to my daughter’s well-being.

so wish me luck, readers! and if by chance anyone out there knows of a doctor in florida that already provides such a thing as pediatric endocrinology for transgender minors.  please comment below!


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inside out: the documentary *let’s make this happen*

here is the latest project to bring the stories of our transgender children to light.

the homepage includes information on the project, a description of the goals and what its goals are, a place to share your story…and most importantly *perhaps*, a donate button.

as i said in my previous post ‘propaganda’, one of the problems in doing films of this sort are the production costs.  if the subject matter were more mainstream, funding would be easier.  but we have a chance to make a difference, to bring the concerns addressed in the movie a matter of mainstream attention.

visit the page, follow on facebook, twitter or leave an email address to be included in updates.

let’s make this happen!


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a light in the darkness

amidst the very mixed news regarding all things transgender came the awesome news this week, that medicare will begin to pay for treatment of gender dysphoria, including surgery.

this is awesome news for us! we are at the place as of this month, where such things as puberty blockers and much more counseling are the reality.  and since ziona receives medi-caid, this means i won’t have to wrangle and threaten lawsuits to get them to pony up the dough.

it is good news for every transgender person!

so altho there are still small minds out there that don’t understand what it means to be trans, at least the rules have been changed in favour of those who must put up with small-minded folk.

of course, there may exist a few more battles in acquiring this treatment for minors.  but it just got much easier to care for and support the needs of our transgender children.  if one cannot be kept from having a life-saving and time proven, non-experimental therapy as an adult, the same treatments cannot be withheld from pre-adults…i hope.

so we are on our way as of the end of this week.  ziona will be seen by her team at the ucsf child and adolescent gender clinic.  she has already been assessed as ready for the puberty blockers, and her psychiatric therapist has already deemed going forward as absolutely necessary to her health, and well-being.  and now, the expense will be covered as well!

so despite the nay-sayers, the small minds, and the previous reluctance on the part of medi-caid to cover expenses, she will as of this month begin drawing closer to the goal of being ‘all girl’, as she calls it.

a light shining through the darkness, for ziona….and many others!